


Explaining My Love For You

by Guardian_Rose



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 04:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: I could spend every minute of the rest of my life and only brush the surface.”“Every minute? You would want that?” Hugh asked, a tightness in his voice that Paul put down to confusion or tiredness.[Paul tries and fails to explain his experiences in the spore drive to Paul but manages to put his foot in his mouth]





	Explaining My Love For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrairieDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrairieDawn/gifts).



> Thank you so much to @PrairieDawn for the prompt, I loved writing this! Hope you enjoy it! <3

“It’s like...like the most complex maze of interlacing, intricate paths that all shine with light like nothing ever recorded. It’s spreading out infinitely and all right in front of you at once.” Paul paused a moment, softly moving his thumb in circles on the back of Hugh’s hand held in his whilst he pondered his next words; Hugh squeezed his hand briefly to let him know he was listening. “Thought as anything concrete or literal isn’t needed, everything is abstract but it makes sense? There’s no doubt about what everything needs to do to work or what I have to do or where I want to take us. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful and fascinating, I could spend every minute of the rest of my life and only brush the surface.”

 

“Every minute? You would want that?” Hugh asked, a tightness in his voice that Paul put down to confusion or tiredness; he looked up at the other man with a grin.

 

“It would be amazing, dedication to discovering even just one percent of the system.”

 

“Right.” Hugh’s voice was tense and Paul’s smile slipped as the doctor stood up from the bed, their hands slipping apart; Paul couldn’t help thinking that whatever was brewing in Hugh’s head would mean the end, that he’d said something wrong for the last time, that he hadn’t noticed something again and this time there was no conversation to be had to figure it out. The door to their quarters shut with a sense of finality that left him starting to shake. Where had he gone wrong?

 

*** 

 

He didn’t have to wait long, maybe half an hour, before Hugh’s silhouette appeared in the doorway. Paul sat up from where he’d been lying curled up on the bed immediately.

 

“Hugh…” 

 

“It’s me.” The doctor answered, he turned the lights on quietly and froze as he took in Paul’s stricken and terrified face. “Did something-”

 

“You never let me finish.” Paul cut in, he had rehearsed this and if it truly was his last chance to fix whatever had been driving them apart for so long now then he needed to go first. 

 

“Finish what?” Hugh was clearly trying not to snap but some of the anger slipped in there anyway.

 

“Explaining about the spore drive.” Paul folded his hands in his lap and looked expectantly at his partner until he sat down next to him on the edge of their bed. 

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Do you remember when I told you about Richard? My research partner before Straal?” 

 

“The one who left you because you broke up with him?” Hugh’s voice took on a softer tone, he knew how much it bothered Paul to this day how things had happened between them; not because he still liked, it was never truly love, Richard but because of how long he’d been persuaded to stay.

 

“It was killing me, not literally, but mentally and emotionally. I was dying with him,  _ because _ of him. Yes, he was exciting and a genius but he was dangerous too.” Paul desperately wanted to take Hugh’s hand but he wasn’t sure he was allowed, how deeply had he hurt him? “I left, Hugh. I left and my life is better for it even if it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I met Straal and found my best friend and then I met you and I found my...my…”

 

“Soulmate?” Hugh huffed out with a whisper of a laugh, finally meeting Paul’s eyes for the first time since he’d walked in the door; Paul rested his hand on the other man’s arm, desperate for him to understand.

 

“Yes.” He said with utmost conviction; Hugh’s eyes widened in surprise, Paul never entertained the ideas of true love at first sight and fate that was all Hugh. “I found you, I love you and for some ridiculous reason you love me too. I’m not letting that go, ever, Hugh. What I said about the spore drive and the mycelial network? I meant it, it would be amazing to study it but I don’t want to die for it. I don’t want to hurt you for it. I won’t. It’s exciting but it’s actually killing me, not just emotionally, and you’re the one who knows that best, dear doctor.”

 

“So what are you going to do?” Hugh was smiling at him softly and a wave of relief washed over him, he understood. 

 

“I’m going to do one last jump for Lorca, to get us safe. But that’s it. No more after that, and if I ever waver then I trust you to reign me in. Pull any card you have to. You are my first priority, always.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Any and all comments welcome, especially prompts! <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr @guardian-rose-petal  
> Find my Writing blog on tumblr @eleanor-elizabeth-writes


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